Fall Ramblings

Autumn is here again. My favorite season. I love to sit on the sofa, watching the trees shed their leaves of brown, red, gold, and reflect. 

This is my forth Autumn with these trees. They mean a lot to me. It started in June 2013 (the summer I earned Gambler though I didn't know it yet). There was a lot of uncertainty in my life. I was caught in a new beginning, which of course I didn't know at the time. Some days I would sit on the couch with a confused, nostalgic ache in my chest and find a strange comfort in the trees. I knew that no matter what happened in my life, the trees would still be there. The seasons would continue - a picture of God's consistency. 

I still watch the trees. This last summer, when anxiety put it's cold hands on my neck, I watched the trees. It gave me something solid to cling to. It is so easy to get caught up in work, school, drama, stress, money. Sometimes I need to just find a quiet place where I can let everything fade away. Then, while time is standing still and nothing can touch me, I find the things that matter. Gambler. Nature. Friends. My relationship with God. And everything else fades in comparison.

Where do I start?

When I voiced my concerns about graduation, I was told to stop being so dramatic. People advised me to enjoy the occasion, to look forward to good times ahead. They told me it wasn't that big of a deal. I remained convinced that after the ceremony, everything would change.

I was right. 

The people who told me to grow up and stop whining about it were right too. 

Everything did change after high school, but the things I thought I was losing forever are closer to me now than they were before.

Gambler and I didn't spend as much time together this past summer as we did the summer before. Work kept me too busy to visit the barn regularly. I also realized that I can't solve the bucking issue on my own. I have no horse to ride, so I am not fit enough to sit a buck. If Gambler bucks me off several times he could develop a habit and ta da! I've ruined a horse. For all those reasons, Gambler went off to two weeks of training a week and a half ago. According to the trainer (who I have only heard wonderful things about) Gambler is progressing well under saddle but has terrible ground manners and is dominant. 

Dominant I believe! But the ground manners...has me questioning. I am more than willing to admit that I am a biased party and could possibly have overlooked his behavior. But. Big but. But I can lead Gambler on a loose lead with the rope just about dragging on the ground. And I can pretty much control his feet down to the individual step. And he stands politely in his stall. And puts his own head in the halter. The only ground issues he has are fly spray, baths, and his feet . . . so I'm a little concerned. I guess we'll see what happens on Friday.

After high school ended I was worried that I would never enjoy myself again. I thought that work and college would consume my life, leaving no time for fun and experience. Boy was I wrong about that one! Yes, I am pressed for time; but I am learning to squeeze every drop of life out of twenty-four hours. I spent more time with friends and experienced more new things this past summer than I ever have before.

So far the school year isn't much different. 

I have more responsibilities, but also more freedom. Now I have a car and I manage my own schedule and I earn my own money. These things do constrict me, but they also offer so many opportunities that I never had before.

It is overwhelming. I am surrounded by so many new things and I'm trying to sort them all out. September's primary goal is "find balance." I hope I do soon. For now I have embraced the college kid "hot mess" stereotype. Losing my keys, losing my shoes, forgetting my card in my pocket, barely getting to work on time - it adds a certain spice to life. That said, I am planning on getting my life reorganized soon.

Where are we at?

Last week I drove out to the barn and discovered one of the most beautiful sunsets so far this summer. The night itself was marvelous. The air cool, the sky an ever-shifting sea of color; I was entranced. Every few moments the clouds looked entirely different. I could hardly look away long enough to play with Gambler. 

The beginning of the night.

Kezi rocked the lighting, as usual.

Gambler tried . . . but his posing game was sub-par.

Since I haven't been at the barn on a regular basis I am still reviewing the basics with Gambler. I was glad to discover that Gambler remembers the seven games. There is always room for improvement, but he hasn't totally reverted to old behavior like he has in the past. It is so much fun playing the games with a horse that understands them. It is like a language. Now that he has learned the letters, I can start making words, and even short sentences.

Playing the Yo-Yo Game

Playing the Yo-Yo game between two ground poles.

We interrupt this presentation to show you the sky.

Backing through the poles the other way.

Seriously, the sky! Pictures do not do it justice.

Here I am asking Gambler to take just one step forward or back.

This cloud!

Playing the Friendly game.

Asking for a forequarter yield.

Playing the Circling game.

Friendly game with a barrel

Then we played with transitions. Here I was asking for walk-to-canter transitions. 

I also asked him for a steady, balanced trot, but I don't have any pictures.

And then the sky looked like this

At this point there was a drag race or something like that going on a couple miles away.

I know I should have redirected his feet and mind so he was focusing on me, but he looked so pretty! I was pleased with his reaction (stopping and staring vs. bolting) and how quickly he did refocus on me when I asked. He has come a long way!

Walking and later trotting over the ground poles.

Asking Gambler to lower his head because he was spooking at the loud car noises again. That sky though!

Backing Gambler to the gate so that he couldn't run away from the scary noises and he had to think.

While the horses were eating, I ran outside and snapped some more pictures of the sky. These were taken with my phone, so they can't come close to how incredible it looked in person.

Very Important Sidenote: My friend Arianna who I have mentioned in this blog before in on an awesome summer road trip and decided to blog about it. Check it out by clicking this link!

Summer Ramblings

Summer is nearly over.

Usually, this is the time of year I feel an immense pressure to get as much done as possible before school starts again. This year, I feel entirely different. Yes, I am registered to register for classes (seven days before school starts . . . cause I'm so responsible), but I for the first time in probably two years, I am at peace. It doesn't matter. It's no big deal. Maybe I'll love college, jump into it head first, betray all my morals and take out a ton of loans. Maybe I'll hate college, drop out after a semester and try trade school. Maybe I'll write a novel and make millions. Maybe I'll sprout wings and move to the moon. I have no idea what will happen and I am okay with that.

So far my life has always been planned for me. Parents and teachers have told me what to do, how to do it, and why to do it. Now I have no plans, no goals, no requirements, no deadlines, no dependents (besides Gamby), and the whole world is open in front of me. I can do anything. Well . . . once I make money. Which is where college comes in. Spending money to make money, don't ya just love the ironies of life?

But when it all comes down to it, I just have to decide what I want and go get it. I used to think it was a horrible, overwhelming feeling, but I am beginning to love it. Someday, I want to go places and do things and experience the world. I want to meet people and learn things. I want to take beautiful pictures and tell beautiful stories. And someday I will. One moment at a time.

This change in attitude has affected the way I view Gambler too. I used to be so stressed about him. I don't know how to train a horse. This is taking so long. There are so many hurdles. He keeps getting sick. I don't get out to the barn enough. I'm making too many mistakes. It's too dangerous. Now, I realize that this is an opportunity I may never get again. I will probably fail many times over, but that doesn't mean I need to give up. What do I really have to lose? I have always wanted to start my own horse and now I can and I will. It doesn't matter what anyone else says or thinks or how long it takes or how many times I have to completely start over. Because this is what I want to do and I am determined to succeed.

Quick Update

If you follow Gambler on Instagram, you'll know that he obtained a lovely fungal infection. Naturally, it has kept me from riding Gambler, saddling him, or doing much of anything in the area of training. With the assistance of fungal shampoo and spray, he is healing. I should be able to saddle him up in a week or so.

The day after we noticed it. The gunk on his sores is A&D to keep the flies away.

This is from Tuesday. The scabs are peeling off, revealing healthy pink skin underneath.

The hair is already growing over the sores on his sides. You can hardly tell they were there.

The sore under his chin was attacked by the bugs, so it is still healing.

While the fungal infection was improving, Gambler broke out in weird hives. I think they might have been a delayed reaction to the fungal shampoo and spray. Whatever the cause, they disappeared within twenty-four hours. 

I think that is enough negativity for one post. Here are a few of those beautiful little things:

"You can't see me!"

Baby swallows!

Okay, so they aren't in the cute stage yet. 

I cannot explain how much I love the white lines on his ears.

Gambler comes to meet me every time, and watches while I leave.

Ever the clown. ;)

Some climb mountains, some go white-water rafting, some sail around the world solo, some walk barefoot in the horse pasture. (Pony club does not approve of this message)