Another Rambling Post

 I've now had Gambler for eight months. He has come a long way from the awkward four-year-old who had been sitting in the pasture. I've built a relationship with him that I have never had with another horse. But we still have a long way to go. Even though I know the general goals that I am working towards, sometimes I get out there with him and I cannot think of anything to do. So I'm going to write down some things I need to work on. I hope that writing them down will help me remember.

So what do I need to focus on with Gambler? I need to gain control of his feet on the ground. Not just in circles (which is boring and detrimental to his joints) but in lines, shapes, figures. I need to work on yields in a way he thinks is fun. I'm going to try using yields to turn. He might like that. I really want Gambler to learn to side-pass and spin from the ground. It will help a lot when trying to teach him from the saddle if he already knows how to move. We've started on it a little, but he doesn't enjoy them. The last time I asked for a side-pass I got a rear.

I think if I keep myself in a high-energy, playful mood when I am with Gambler he will feed off of it and enjoy himself more. For instance, I want to try running with him when I ask for an upward transition, or seeing if he will “cut” me like a cow. If he learns to enjoy imitating my body language, I can teach him to carry himself through example, like a mother teaches her foal. I should also wrap him and do the exercises/stretches the chiropractor gave me in July, which help with self-carriage.

The feet are priority right now, as well as the cinchiness/mounting issue. The whole mounting thing . . .I have mixed feelings. Part of me says to take it slow. The other part of me says Gambler is only acting up because he's bored and if I just jump up there and show him it's not so bad he'll progress faster. Maybe I'm moving too slowly for him. But if he can't hold still to be mounted, how is he going act when being ridden?

I also need to work on leading from the right . . .ugh I've been so lazy with that, it's not okay. Gambler is less comfortable with me on his right side, and I've only made it worse by not addressing the issue. Another thing I've been lazy about is teaching him to trot next to me. I think the problem has been that when he gets ahead of me I stop. I need to keep going when he gets ahead, and maybe turn to the inside or something like that that redirects his motion, instead of stopping it. I need to lead him at the trot for several minutes. It would be good exercise for both of us.

I think using two lines while I longe him will prepare him for ground driving. He needs to learn that all pressure on his halter doesn't mean back up though. I've done the exercise where you wrap the rope around him and ask him to unravel himself, but for some reason he never has figured it out. If I don't give him the answer by yielding his forequarters in the right direction he just backs up rapidly. My theory is he needs consistency. I'll try to do that exercise every time I see him. Along those lines I need to regularly practice lateral flexion.

Well that's not all of it, because you can never run out of things to improve, but it's a start. A lot of things things rely heavily on good footing/weather conditions, so I'll have to see what happens. The weather today was insane. First, it thunderstormed. Then it thundersleeted. Then it thundersnowed. Then the sun came out and melted everything. Finally, it started snowing again. Who knows what else will happen today. I can't say that I mind. I think the bipolar weather makes life that much more interesting. 

November Rain

It is one of those days. One of those days when I just want to hang out with my horse. It has been a long day. A long weekend actually. I was telling one of my fellow students this morning that the week is like my weekend. I'm so busy Friday through Sunday that I don't have time to reflect on everything that has happened until Monday. 

Right now the rain is falling as it has since about nine o'clock this morning. It is supposed to rain tomorrow too. I hope it doesn't, but I know now that even if it does, Gambler and I can still play with the saddle and the bridle and the cross ties and the bridle etc. etc. etc. I am so thankful for the weather this November. I've heard rumors of a mild winter for months, but now I'm starting to believe it. It's halfway through November and it only snowed once. And that was in October. Snow isn't so bad for playing or working with horses (as long as it is fluffy and not too deep), but the cold makes life much harder for the rider. 

I forgot to mention that yesterday we took out the measuring tape again. Apparently Gambler hasn't gotten any taller, but he has bulked up quite a bit. He isn't as fat as he was in September, but he is a little pudgy. It's probably a good thing going into winter. I'm glad he is a little bigger, but I would love it if he grew a couple inches. I know it isn't likely, but I'm holding on hope!

It's All a Matter of Time

I have to apologize for the lack of photo or video content. The camera is out of batteries, and last time we were in town I totally forgot. One of these days I'll have some good pictures. Until then, I'll do my best to entertain you with my words.

It's November. There will probably be snow on the ground by the end of the month. It is supposed to be a mild winter, so I hope that there isn't much snow or ice, but in the end no one knows what is going to happen. Needless to say, I'm a little nervous. I made my goal of putting the "first ride" (first sit is more like it) on Gambler before snowfall, but can I put a sound foundation of saddle training on him before the weather stops us in our tracks?

I knew that time was going to be an issue. Starting a green horse can take anything from a few months to a couple years depending on the horse. And that is in an ideal situation. I only get to see Gambler four times a week on average. Now that the sun goes down at five, I only have an hour or so of daylight on week days. I was ranting about it to my mom yesterday. She reminded me that it's not about how fast you train a horse, it's about how well you train him. I agree wholeheartedly. The thing that frustrates me is I think Gambler is ready. I think I could have put the first ride on him several weeks ago, but I'm holding him back. I just haven't found the time.

Nevertheless, I don't regret keeping Gambler so far from home. The barn he is at right now is the very best place he could be. He is kept in a large pasture that he shares with only one other horse, so he always has food. He is brought inside two times a day for grain, so any injuries are caught within twenty-four hours. I know that he is safe and in good hands, and I know that he is happy. I wouldn't dream of keeping him anywhere else.

Just a Dream?

This is the second time I've tried to write this post. The first time, I was so upset that I just had to put my words down somewhere, but once it was written I just couldn't publish it. It wasn't too personal, it was too whiny. I don't want to whine or get defensive, but sometimes it is just so overwhelming. It's beginning to make me very uncomfortable.

The problem is . . . life. More specifically, my chosen career, or the lack thereof. This last summer, especially in July, I was so stressed out about college that I made myself physically and emotionally sick. Gambler and I both suffered from my issues. I felt like the world was forcing me to go to college. All I could see for my future was selling Gambler, going to college, getting into thousands of dollars of debt, getting married, having kids, and hating my life forever. Granted, some people go to college and get married and love it, but I'm not one of those people. I surrendered myself up to this path and I hated every second of it. I lost all my motivation, because I was just working toward utter misery. There was no point.

Finally, just as school was starting, I came to the realization that I--and only I--am in charge of my future. Okay, I believe that God has my life planned out and He knows exactly what is going to happen, but no human other than myself is in charge of my future. Maybe training horses and writing aren't legitimate careers, but they are what I love. I would rather do what I love and have to work really hard to earn my keep than make a ton of money in a cubicle while my brain wastes away. Again, some people are meant to do that sort of thing and they love it, but I was made to live a horsey life. I truly believe that this is what God wants me to do. He is the One who made me with all of my talents. He knows where my heart is; He made it. Since I made my decision to put college off for a year, if not forever, and pursue my "dream" career, I have felt completely confident in my choice. I am excited for the future and willing to work my butt off to make it work.

This isn't the end of the stress, on the contrary, I'm under even more pressure than I was last summer. Now that I have openly strayed from the path that most people expected me to go down, many people feel that it is their duty to set me straight. I cannot count how many people have told me I have to go to college to get a good job. Others have told me that I'm shutting God out by not going to a Christian college and dedicating my life to some ministry. Still others have informed me that once I get married I'll leave my "horsey dream" behind. It annoys me that these people think that my life is their business. Some of them have the right to advise me. I greatly appreciate advice from teachers, parents, and other people in the horse industry, But in the end, I firmly believe that this is what I was meant to do.

The worst part is sometimes I wonder if they are right. What if I'm just a stupid horse-crazy girl who needs to grow up before it is too late? What if God is calling me to some great place and I'm rejecting Him because I just can't let go of my obsession with horses? What if I fall in love and decide to give up everything for some guy? What if my chosen career is just a dream?

These thoughts scare me. Right now, even though I have doubts, and I feel the pressure to fall back on a mainstream job, I am standing by my choice. I have never felt so happy and confident as I do when I am writing and working (playing) with horses. This is what I am good at and this is what I love. I will not give it up because of what other people say.

Friday

Friday. In the summer it's the day I get to see Gambler twice. In the winter it's the day I don't get to see him at all. I can't really complain. After all, I will see him tomorrow, and the day after. I don't really have any update, since I didn't see him today, but I just feel like writing something.

The trees are already turning colors. From where I am sitting on my couch, looking out of the window, I can see yellow, red, and orange leaves. The majority of the trees are green, but still, Autumn is approaching fast.

Fall is my favorite season. I love curling up in a cozy sweatshirt or blanket, with a warm cup of coffee or hot chocolate, or cider. I love Thanksgiving, especially the mashed potatoes and gravy. I love the crisp and refreshing air that trickles through the open windows. I love being able to open the windows. I love the color scheme of fall. I love fall sunsets. I love riding in the fall, because it's cool enough to work hard without sweating a ton. I love that all the bugs die off after the first frost. I just love the whole season.

Autumn has a new meaning for me as a horse owner and trainer. Well, I'm not technically a horse trainer . . . what even qualifies someone as a horse trainer? Anyway, as a horse owner who is training her horse, fall is a constant reminder that I only have a few months to start riding my horse before winter comes. Don't get me wrong--I am definitely planning on riding all through the winter, but it is incredibly difficult to ride in snow, especially in rural Wisconsin. I need to have a decent foundation of 5-10 rides on Gambler before we get serious snow. At the same time, I don't want to push it. I know that he is still very uncomfortable with the saddle that I am going to use. When he has the western saddle on he is way more spooky because he isn't used to it. I don't want to add the pressure of a rider until he is confident moving at walk,trot, and canter with the saddle on. This is even more important because the first time he was started something went wrong. I've heard conflicting stories about what it was, and I really don't care what it was. I don't want to point fingers, I just want to do what is best for the horse. I am dying to ride my horse. I haven't ridden a horse in months, and I have never ridden my own horse. On the other hand, I am not going to sacrifice his emotional well-being for my own gain. I have to find the balance between letting him take his time and getting on his back before snowfall.

I think another reason I am reluctant to start him right now is I'm feeling a little unconfident (yes I am well aware that unconfident isn't a word, but I'm not feeling insecure, I'm just not feeling confident, there is a difference) about my riding ability. I'm not a beginning rider, I've been riding on and off for eight years now. But because I've never had my own horse I've always been riding other people's horses. That means I have very limited, although versatile, experience with riding. I am 100% confident with my ground skills. I'm not perfect, but I have experience and it's always kinda been my thing. Riding is different. I have ridden bareback, english, western, dressage, gone on trail rides, jumped (just a little), and even taken a couple little cross-country jumps, but I still have a questionable canter seat. I'll be the first to tell you that I think that a green horse and a green rider can be perfect for each other, but I'm still a little afraid that I don't have what it takes to truly finish a green horse. That said, I'm not giving up. This is my horse, my gamble, and I'm taking it. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm inexperienced. Maybe I'm a clueless, immature, horse-crazy girl and years into the future I'll look back at myself with embarrassment. But I'm doing this anyway. My dream has come true, and I am going work my butt off. I have a history of being a quitter, but I'm not giving up on my horse. He is more than just my pet, he is my future. God has offered me the opportunity of a lifetime and I'm seeing it through to the end.