Friday

Friday. In the summer it's the day I get to see Gambler twice. In the winter it's the day I don't get to see him at all. I can't really complain. After all, I will see him tomorrow, and the day after. I don't really have any update, since I didn't see him today, but I just feel like writing something.

The trees are already turning colors. From where I am sitting on my couch, looking out of the window, I can see yellow, red, and orange leaves. The majority of the trees are green, but still, Autumn is approaching fast.

Fall is my favorite season. I love curling up in a cozy sweatshirt or blanket, with a warm cup of coffee or hot chocolate, or cider. I love Thanksgiving, especially the mashed potatoes and gravy. I love the crisp and refreshing air that trickles through the open windows. I love being able to open the windows. I love the color scheme of fall. I love fall sunsets. I love riding in the fall, because it's cool enough to work hard without sweating a ton. I love that all the bugs die off after the first frost. I just love the whole season.

Autumn has a new meaning for me as a horse owner and trainer. Well, I'm not technically a horse trainer . . . what even qualifies someone as a horse trainer? Anyway, as a horse owner who is training her horse, fall is a constant reminder that I only have a few months to start riding my horse before winter comes. Don't get me wrong--I am definitely planning on riding all through the winter, but it is incredibly difficult to ride in snow, especially in rural Wisconsin. I need to have a decent foundation of 5-10 rides on Gambler before we get serious snow. At the same time, I don't want to push it. I know that he is still very uncomfortable with the saddle that I am going to use. When he has the western saddle on he is way more spooky because he isn't used to it. I don't want to add the pressure of a rider until he is confident moving at walk,trot, and canter with the saddle on. This is even more important because the first time he was started something went wrong. I've heard conflicting stories about what it was, and I really don't care what it was. I don't want to point fingers, I just want to do what is best for the horse. I am dying to ride my horse. I haven't ridden a horse in months, and I have never ridden my own horse. On the other hand, I am not going to sacrifice his emotional well-being for my own gain. I have to find the balance between letting him take his time and getting on his back before snowfall.

I think another reason I am reluctant to start him right now is I'm feeling a little unconfident (yes I am well aware that unconfident isn't a word, but I'm not feeling insecure, I'm just not feeling confident, there is a difference) about my riding ability. I'm not a beginning rider, I've been riding on and off for eight years now. But because I've never had my own horse I've always been riding other people's horses. That means I have very limited, although versatile, experience with riding. I am 100% confident with my ground skills. I'm not perfect, but I have experience and it's always kinda been my thing. Riding is different. I have ridden bareback, english, western, dressage, gone on trail rides, jumped (just a little), and even taken a couple little cross-country jumps, but I still have a questionable canter seat. I'll be the first to tell you that I think that a green horse and a green rider can be perfect for each other, but I'm still a little afraid that I don't have what it takes to truly finish a green horse. That said, I'm not giving up. This is my horse, my gamble, and I'm taking it. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm inexperienced. Maybe I'm a clueless, immature, horse-crazy girl and years into the future I'll look back at myself with embarrassment. But I'm doing this anyway. My dream has come true, and I am going work my butt off. I have a history of being a quitter, but I'm not giving up on my horse. He is more than just my pet, he is my future. God has offered me the opportunity of a lifetime and I'm seeing it through to the end.